pinned post
pissipaahiya this is mainly just for me so i actually find stuff on my blog lol
lesbian orc bars would be crazy
ngl when i read "bars" i wasn't thinking of the place where you drink and hook up. i was picturing lesbian orcs rapping. and i still thought "so true"
It's open mic night at the lesbian orc bar
emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.
multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.
i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.
please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.
MY FRIEND EMILY DESPERATELY NEEDS HELP RIGHT NOW.
PLEASE REBLOG THIS AND CONSIDER DONATING TO KEEP THEM AFLOAT, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T GIVE TOO MUCH. THEY DO NOT HAVE CONSISTENT AND STABLE HOUSING RIGHT NOW AND NOBODY IS HIRING EVEN IF THEY’RE APPLYING TO JOBS DAILY. EMILY’S BILLS ARE PILING UP AND THEY’VE BEEN PUTTING OFF THERAPY + PSYCHIATRIST + DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENTS BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD IT.
viscera study. [reference]
i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding
they ask me what I would like to eat and knowing that gnomes enjoy fruit i ask for my favorite fruit, an apple, and they all laugh raucously and say that i must be very hungry indeed to desire an entire apple rather than just a small chunk, and i go along with their joke and say that while my body may have shrank my stomach has not! and they all guffaw with delight until their faces turn red and see that my request is met and we all sit around a toadstool and share many apple slices together
over my time spent with the gnomes, my antics are still regarded with much delight. though i am past the age in which i am confused by their customs and norms, i occasionally pretend to be clueless about simple and easily understood things, such as shock at how toads are as tall as I am. they all continue to laugh at my feigned surprise, and sometimes join in, asking me if I need any help distinguishing what berries are for eating and which are for painting. i laugh, too. there is a sense of grace that comes with my shortcomings amongst the gnomes. they are entertained by my misunderstandings, yes, because life is to short to not be jolly.
i wake up one morning back at my original size. the small cavern in the roots of a tree that i lived in is destroyed in my sleep. my clothes, tailored from cut-up scraps of fabric, are shredded around me. i am a human again. i am horribly embarrassed.
the gnomes of the community gather around where i sit, all looking at me and exchanging glances with each other, none of them speaking the obvious. i can no longer stay here, now that i am not their size. but i was part of their community. i became one of them, indistinguishable from these people only from my past. how am i supposed to return to the world of the humans now? there is no life left for me there. that is not a life where i may fish for minnows in a babbling brook and feast off a bounty of raspberries. i am distraught. i cry.
my community comforts me. friends, all minuscule to me now, pat me wherever they can reach, nimbly dodging the tears that fall from my face. one of them offers me water. they don't have any containers that are big enough for me, they apologize, so just this acorn cap filled with morning dew will have to suffice.
i take the acorn cap and look at it in my hands. it is so small now. with a sniff, i put it atop my head.
the gnome chuckles. then laughs. then bends at the waist, bellowing with laughter, supporting himself on my knee. then i am laughing too, face red, tears still falling, and my community of gnomes laughs with me as well, so loud that a flock of birds takes off in the distance, and i am still laughing even as i stand to my feet and lumber away, back to where i once came.
if im in the group chat going “this shit is sooo bad” you know im enjoying the movie & if im in the group chat going “idk its made well it definitely has some interesting elements its probably excellent if youre the target audience maybe if i watched it again id feel differently” you know im having the worst fucking time
the simplicity of lactase supplements is so funny to me. it costs like $4 to circumvent evolutionary biology. want to eat dairy but your body doesn’t produce the enzyme necessary to digest lactose? the devs haven’t patched that yet but you can download a mod
[comes crawling out of the podcast covered in blood] its really good you should listen
Sam being immediately called out for lying about being done with the "Magnus stuff" is so funny. Absolutely no one believes you. The computers don't believe you. Alice doesn't believe you. You don't believe yourself. You are in a series titled "the Magnus protocol". This is the most obviously incorrect statement in the entire podcast so far.
love when emails start off with “DO NOT REPLY”. like oh yeah way ahead of you brother
rotten tomatoes means nothing, imdb rating means nothing, sometimes even letterboxd reviews mean nothing. the most effective way to show your love for a movie is to mass reblog gifsets of one
a wikipedia poem on software entropy
the world is a better place with trans women in it
i get this is the funny sex joke website but please stop replying sexual comments on this post
I keep quoting “my acocunt” for several months and I just realized it’s from my own screenshot and not a popular post